_{This is a RP account. For more data, check ~DGMRP-DA
Click here to check all the past RP journal entries (listed by arcs) [link]}

---

((ooc: Music related to the title can be found here if interested [link] ))

The cold breeze of the spring brought him the scent of the flowers of the almond and cherry trees, waking in him memories of long lost moments and vague images of the better days he ought to enjoy, when the "thirst" wasn't always forcing himself to deprave the surroundings with his unholy presence and destructive tendencies. The breeze made him to stop on his short stroll under the blue sky and he sat calmly over the toppled thick carcass of an oak. He stared at the untidy green grass with a blank face, which quickly turned into a face of worry when the memories started to cut short his stoical façade.

There was a time when he could smile like if nothing had happened, when everything around him was OK and the family was still united by undefiled bonds. Those are now things of the past. The family was destroyed on its core long ago, and all took their own ways, vilifying the same principles they also sought to defend, being driven by vindictive convictions that also corrupted his own heart...

...if it had one for a start. What was to have a heart anyway? To smile like an insensible clown while the world was walking to its own destruction? To give hope to everyone even when it was certain that they will not survive the Doomsday? To prolong the sorrow of the others by dishonestly giving them a sense of safety? He questioned himself about those and many others, crooked over his kneels while contemplating the shadow he casted over the grass with his body. A lithe grasshopper with undeveloped wings sprung from a nearby leaf of an asclepias and found shelter at the boundaries of his shade. It started to clean its thorny legs, oblivious at the boy staring at its non private bathing. The boy sighed slightly and kept watching the insect absent mindly.

He was punished by his impudence and the emptiness he felt since then was too high to bear. He started to muse quietly, allowing the winds to carry away his words since it was already painful to keep them inside. He tried to find shelter in the only person he trusted like a fervent sheep to its shepherd, but...

Even after these many years, we came full circle and met again. Like Cain and Abel, we slew you with our own cursed hands, searing unto us with the Mark and condemning ourselves to wander restlessly over the lands, trying to atone for this sin. You were here all along... aren't you? Why I still feel this empty? Why I feel like if you were really gone forever? What is this "you" that haunts and hurts us from the inside? What is this burning? Why I still miss you?

I forwent everything for you... You forwent everything for me... I... failed to protect you... You never needed to protect me; it was you who needed protection all along! Why... ... ... ... Even though... Very little makes sense anymore to me... I am alone and using vague memories and revenge as my sole lighthouse in this darkness... Is this the proper path? Will I wander forever as I see everything to collapse? Is this the real punishment you wanted to bestow unto me? A punishment for my failure to protect you? To be an outcast without redemption? Now that you are gone, nothing else is important for me... I could go and try to save my friends... But that would be an ephemeral patch, and a senseless reason to keep on in this long routeless path I'm condemned to walk... without you...

You make your own path... that's human foolishness...

There must be something else I have overlooked... You would never punish me for being evil... I am a cursed being, and your existence marked a difference in my cyclic path... What should I do?

Why you abandoned me...?

The mere thought of you and the passing of the days without an answer have destroyed any remaining trace of hope in me... I am aware that my host keeps fighting to retain his own freewill. He thinks that I am worse than the Curse of God he carries within him... He would never be free, and I am a lost cause. Controlling him isn't at large my purpose if I have no place nor horizon to where to walk to... Mana... This silence kills me... Something talks to the boy but I don't know who is who anymore... I need you to talk to me... ... ... give me a signal... a small direction and I shall follow... there is something left undone that we must to resume, remember? Don't make my exile to be meaningless... Return to me, like I promised on my deathbed back in that time... I went through many troubles for our re-encounter... do this small favour for this lone performer with no home to return... will you? will you?

Having finishing its microscopic bath, the lithe grasshopper from before jolted to one side when a very green mantis rocked side to side and stretched its scythes quickly to seize the other bug before it could jump away. Successful, the young mantis squeezed tight its prey and proceeded to gnaw at the base of the head of the grasshopper to kill it and stop it from kicking with its strong back legs. The boy saw this with a grimly depressed face, almost recalling how Mana was swallowed in the same way by the Innocence of his host. It was a terrible sight which replayed on his head every time he saw an akuma, or every time he stared at the neglectful half-akuma brothers like those Crow called Madarao and Tevak.

He sighed, the feel of being useless building up in him. While the host walked blindly to everywhere, he watched behind the scenes, everything, the recurrent same scenes and stories. Nothing have changed since he met Mana again in that time. The world spins to an end... The Earl and the rest of the Noah keeping with their merciless tarry performance... the Innocence successfully found new acolytes to keep on with its presence over the world. Both will clash eventually and that will be the end of all...
Only the humans, tools from the cradle to the tomb, had the key to this mystery, but, without Mana, everything would be as good as ashes for him.
When the mantis was finishing nibbling at the remaining long legs of its morsel, the 14th took a new decision.

Until I see a proof of your presence to start to move down the old path, my spirit will henceforth rest until your return.

In this way, he smiled and closed his eyes as a thin purplish pattern of hexagons started to be drawn over his dark skin. He let go little by little his hold over the Dark Matter made doll, sensing the flailing small soul of it to waver and fade away in a drowned wail. His curiosity was now blackened by the sense of solitude he always carried with him, and with it, he retreated his focus from the doll and back again towards his original host. The boy had a restless dream on which the Innocence again tortured his confused mind and body with images of the future. The 14th felt sad about it and a deep grudge against the taunting Innocence grew up like a small surge of steam, but... something was different... There was a clown tottering inside that dream, amidst the ruins and other wreckage, with a familiar voice and face... He ended speechless aswell as the impaled human boy. What was this sensation? Fear? Happiness? Hope? The signal he have waited for or a ruse of the Innocence?

Now, this is a very uncanny sight... Who are you "Mana"? Who are them?

Later, a heap of purple hexagons was dissolving over a patch of grass of the forest surrounding the new headquarters. Some ants which were attracted by the smell of the remains of the grasshopper tried to catch the tiny particles of those hexagons but they dissolved into the thin air in between their gaping confused maws. The mantis finally managed to pop out from the heap of hexagons which fell over its unaware slim body. After a little effort since the hexagons were disappearing into the nothingness and lifting their weight, the mantis crawled over the abandoned Exorcist uniform which hung from the trunk of the resting oak carcass and resumed to clean its scythes, before hopping away from that brief cataclysmic event.

---

((ooc: And with this, I tie up his story and finally give up this account. This is the end to my spinoffish 14th Noah as it is known inside this RP. I must to confess that I really enjoyed my stay here, meeting with very good people and made good friends with more than one. Even though, I can't carry anymore with this character as it developed up as a fantastic character to RP which required of a lot of time from my part to keep on the stage for the entertaining of everyone and myself. I don't regret to have RPed him as the unlucky bipolar angsty "emo", as he also sprung in more than one RPer the sense or desire of taking the role of their own characters to a different level. Experimenting with him was very gratifying and I learnt A LOT from the others, since I am not an English speaker *Dolby surround face* and certainly this RP gave me the chance to improve more my silly broken English.))

((Well, it was fun while it lasted. I will leave this last entry and the rest of the entries as they are, as repository of events and such. Now I am focused on different projects which I hope you could enjoy in the future whenever they are finished Thanks for all the good moments and for allowing me the freedom of speech and acting you gave me as RPer of the DGM community. I'll never forget you (not even those who left while in my term) and I'm always found at my main account in Hope our small feats gives insight and helpful tips to the people who thinks that can't RP. If you have the words, you already have the tools to knit a rich tapestry of experience filled with events and neato adventures. Now, let this character to rest and allow other person to take the baton, hopefully with a new cool point of view about him.))

((To the Admins: I'll send a note to you stating some last words about this farewell.))
((For the players in general: We'll see you later - I hope.))